THE WORST MISSION EVER!
by ameliacolours
Summary: The urgency forced the paladins to carry out the most bizarre-embarrassing-awkward missionever. Well, at least Allura enjoyed it... and all the inhabitants of a planet for women.
1. Chapter 1

**THE WORST MISSION EVER!**

Summary:

The urgency forced the paladins to carry out the most bizarre-embarrassing-awkward mission ever. Well, at least Allura enjoyed it... and all the inhabitants of a planet for women and Zarkon too.

 **CHAPTER 1 : BAD NEWS AND THE MISSION**

"Paladin, we have a problem."

"What's that, Princess?" As usual, Shiro was the first to respond to Allura's statement.

"We're running out of supplies and we need to immediately resupply."

"Then, what's the problem? We just have to stop at the nearest planet, right?" Lance voiced the question that arose in the minds of others.

"That's the problem." Coran immediately interrupted before Allura could answer the question. "We can't just land on Planet Lilynian, which is the closest Planet."

"Why?" Keith asked.

Allura and Coran did not immediately answer, instead, they looked at each other. The Paladins began to think about the worst case scenario.

"... There's a condition we must meet if we want to land there." There was an indescribable expression on Coran's face.

"What's the condition?"

Coran did not answer right away. Instead, he took a deep breath, as if in need of mental preparation to be able to deliver the answer. Unfortunately for Coran - or fortunately for the Paladins - Allura decided to interrupt because she did not have enough patience to deal with her father's adviser dramatic gesture. "Because only women live on Planet Lilynian, so only women are allowed to land on it." She squealed with delight, thinking all the things she could do in a planet whose population consisted of only women.

"Uh?"

"Pardon?"

"..."

"What? Not cool, man!"

"Okay... Then, what is the problem again?" Hunk asked, still confused.

"The problem?! THE PROBLEM?! Isn't it obvious what the problem is! Only women are allowed to enter the planet!" Coran screamed in frustration.

"Hunk, if only women were allowed to enter, it means that only Princess Allura and Pidge who can go," Shiro explained patiently.

"Oh, I see... What?!" Hunk also screamed when Shiro's explanation eventually dawned on him. "No! They should not go alone!"

"My point exactly!" Coran shouted in approval.

"Excuse me? Why is that?" Everyone flinched at Allura's cold tone.

Slowly, as if afraid, the men looked toward Allura and Pidge who seemed angry. Oops, looked like the men had offended the women's pride.

"Umm… Princess, it would be dangerous if only the two of you go there. How am I going to be answer to King Alfor if something happens to you..." Coran tried to persuade.

"I don't think so. Pidge and I can look after ourselves. Right, Pidge?"

"That's right!"

"Are you sure?" The men looked at Keith with a look of horror. _Oh, God. Please don't make them more angry, Keith!_ They tried to tell him without words.

"When you went on infiltration with Shiro, you still got caught, didn't you? What chance does Pidge have to protect you if even Shiro failed to do it?"

 _Ouch, everyone cringed. That hurts Keith, even though your word is true._

"But this is different! We're only going to land on a new planet and not infiltrate the Galra's ship." Allura insisted.

"Can you guarantee that the planet hasn't been touched by Galra?"

"Not really. But-"

"Keith's right, Allura. If Galra ever came to the planet, it would be dangerous if we just go alone," Pidge said, shoulders slumped in defeat.

"But, Pidge. Both of us are the only women here! That means just the two of us can go."

"That is not true! The other Paladin can accompany you!" Coran said.

Everyone stared Coran with a blank face.

"And how exactly they will accompany us? Men are not allowed to enter."

"Disguised of course!" Coran answered, as if it were obvious.

"...Disguised?"

"Yes. The Paladin will be disguised as a woman to accompany Princess Allura and Pidge went to the Planet Lilynian!"

"WHAT?!" came the surprised shout from the 4 male Paladins.

"Have you lost your mind!?" Keith yelled, face red in anger or embarrassment. Or maybe both.

"You're kidding, right?" Lance tried to laugh, but it sounded a little hysterical, even to his own ears. "Tell me you're kidding!"

Hunk chuckled uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I don't think I'm suitable to…" he tried to find the right word, "... crossdress." he cringed.

"Even if we agree to your plan," Shiro got heated glares from Keith and Lance and disbelieving look from Hunk. He quickly added, "And that's a big if! Do we even have the… uh, right equipment?"

Coran was holding his chin as if thinking about serious problem. "Hmm. Come to think of it, not all of you are suitable for the disguises. Some of you-" Coran glanced at Shiro and Hunk "obviously can not be disguised."

"I had a bad feeling." Keith murmured.

"Me too..." The fact that Lance agreed with his rival clearly showed how not good the situation was in their eyes.

"That's why only Keith and Lance who will carry out this undercover mission." Coran confirmed, before adding answer to Shiro's questions. "And don't worry, we certainly have the necessary equipment. Would you like to help them get ready, princess?"

"Of course I would!" Alura shouted in excitement while Keith and Lance screamed in protest at the background.

 **Notes:**

 **I give my deepest thanks to Blissaster who's willing to spend her time, energy, and thought to be my beta. Without her, this story might just be idle on my computer and forgotten.**

 **This story inspired from one chapter of '** Shin Daa! Daa! Daa! **'.**

 **I'm the type of person who would rather read than write. So please don't be upset if the update not about to happen soon.**

 **Please leave a review on your way out.**


	2. Chapter 2:Dress For Keith

**CHAPTER 2 : DRESS FOR KEITH**

"The first step of course is to choose the dress... Oh, stop pouting. This is not a big problem." Allura chided.

"Easy for you to say so," Lance mumbled.

"What do you say?" Allura asked with sweet voice.

"Nothing." Lance quickly denied. Then he tried to change the subject, "I just wonder why Coran can't go with us even though he can change his shape."

Allura sighed. "Although the Altean are able to change our shape, it does not mean we can change our gender easily, Lance."

"Without changing his gender, I think Coran should be involved still. He has slender physique like me and Keith."

"That's true. But..."

"But?" Lance raised his eyebrow.

"If he wants to pretend to be a woman, then Coran has to shave his mustache, which I'm sure Coran doesn't want to do." Allura explained with a smile on her face.

Lance's jaw dropped. Her reasoning sounded far-fetched even to him. Even so, he did not dare to voice his thought. Despite the smile on her face, Allura looked scary. It was as if she was daring him to challenge her words.

"Okay, if there are no more questions, let's immediately begin to choose our dresses. We don't have much time. There is still a lot to do." Allura clapped her hands, cutting off all further talks. "Too bad I can't lend you my dress because we have different sizes. But don't worry, clothes maker in this castle is also designed to make dress..."

Allura stopped talking when she realized the Paladins astonished gazes. "What's wrong?"

"Clothes maker? You have a machine to create clothes?" Pidge's eyes twinkled at the thought of a new advanced machine she had never seen before.

"Of course, as the name implies." Allura answered sarcastically. "Aside from making clothes, it can also fix them. How do you think I fix your clothes and armors whenever they are damaged?"

The Paladins were silent, too embarrassed to admit they always thought that Allura manually fix their clothes.

…

On second thought. Could a princess like Allura sew?

"So, what kind of dress would you like to use?" Allura stared with eyes full of hope.

"Anything's fine," Pidge answered weakly. There was undescribeable emotion in her eyes.

"Whatever you think is good, my lady. I'm sure your choice is the best." As always, Lance did not drop the opportunity to flirt with Allura.

"There are various types of dresses?" Keith asked instead. His question made the others looked at him with an 'are you serious' look.

"Of course!" Lance exclaimed. "In fact, there are actually many types of dresses." He shook his head, finding it hard to believe that Keith could be so clueless.

"And how do you know this?" Keith raised his eyebrow.

"Dude, I have many sisters and cousins,of course I know! What about you? What's your excuse, hm? Didn't your mother ever tell you? Don't you have a sister?"

Keith shrugged his shoulders. "My mother left when I was a toddler and I don't have a sister so does Shiro."

Silence filled the room. The others felt bad for making Keith remember his mother and did not know what to say... Well, at least until they caught the last part of Keith's word.

"Wait, what's Shiro got to do with this?" Lance asked.

"Shiro's my only cousin," Keith said with flat expression, as if it was common knowledge, which unfortunately it was not.

"What?!" Pidge and Allura shouted.

"Dude, why you never told us?!" Lance demanded further explanation.

"...You do not know?" Keith seemed genuinely surprised. He looked away, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "I thought Shiro has told you."

"I don't believe it! How can both of you never tell us?" Lance throws his hands up in frustration.

"Hey! I honestly forgot," Keith defended himself. "Beside, Shiro's always been the one who keeps telling everyone about that!" He snapped, beginning to feel annoyed because of Lance.

Feeling Keith's discomfort, Allura immediately cut off Lance's effort to argue further. "Enough, Lance. I'm sure he and Shiro merely forgot about it." She looked Lance in the eye, making he dropped the topic, before turning her gaze to everyone. "Besides, we have a mission to do immediately. We'll discuss this further after the mission is over. Now, since you do not know what to wear, let's look at the options."

Allura activated the machine and then showed the dress options to the Paladins. Most options were actually dresses of other planets that Pidge and Lance obviously never saw... Then, the machine showed them a sexy dress that they recognized.

"Qi Pao? This machine can make a Qi Pao dress? Unbelievable!" Lance was bug-eyed. "Look, Keith." Keith had a sense of foreboding when Lance suddenly looked at him. "We've found the right dress for you! Oh don't look at me like that. This dress fits perfectly with your oriental face." He grinned at his rival, who sent a murderous glare at him.

Keith was getting ready to argue, when Allura suddenly said, "Actually, Keith. I think Lance has a point."

"WHAT?!" Keth shrieked.

"That dress fits perfectly with your face. Besides, this dress doesn't show your chest, so no one will notice that you are wearing a fake chest." Allura explained further.

"Not to mention the dress has a cut on the side, so you can move easily, Keith~" Pidge added cheerfully.

Lance could not help the loud laugh he let out when he saw the look of horror crawling into Keith's face when he realized he'd lost the debate before it even started.

 **Author's Note :**

I apologize for the delay. My attention was distracted by other things -Star Trek & it's fandom is one of them- Sorry...

Oh, bye the way. Can someone advise me what the dress suitable for Lance? I still can not decide.

A big thank you once again I give to Blissaster who has given up time in the middle of her training to become my beta. I also say thank you to those who have liked, followed, and commented this story.

Review will be greatly appreciated.


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